hamburger hammocks

Say hello to my little friends.

Oh Whole Foods 365 Organic, how I love thee.

To me, mustard is much more than a condiment. It is a triscuit topper.  A baked beans’ best bud. It steals the spotlight from the hamburger.  Every hummusapien knows that.

I know some weirdos people prefer cheeze whiz or whipped cream as their go to squirtable “condiment”…

But let’s be real.  Mustard blows them out of the water. And so do pickles.

When I eat burgers/hotdogs (or their veggie counterparts), I care way more about the ketch and mustard than I do the meat.  If you offer me a plain burger tempeh, I’m not havin’ it.  

What the HECK is tempeh (tem-pay)? It is a FAB source of vegan protein.  It’s made from fermented soybeans, rice, barley and millet. One serving has a whopping 20 grams of protein and 9 grams of fiber.  Did I mention the calcium and iron? Bam.

So today when  three of my favorite foodie friends greeted me in the fridge, I decided that it was up to me to create a recipe that gives them the spotlight that they deserve.  These taste like a cross between sloppy joes and a hamburger with all the yummy condiments mixed in. So come out of the shadows, my friends!  It’s time to shine.

Hamburger Hammocks

-serves two

  • 1 8 oz. package tempeh
  • 1 tsp coconut/canola/olive oil
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 1 tsp minced garlic
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 cup baby spinach
  • ¼ cup ketchup (look for one without high fructose corn syrup)
  • 1 tbsp mustard
  • 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp worstechire sauce
  • 1 tbsp water
  • 1 tsp pure maple syrup
  • ½ tsp Frank’s hot sauce
  • heaping ¼ tsp chilli powder + more to taste
  • salt and pepper to taste

1.  Heat oil on medium heat in a large skillet.  While oil is heating, crumble tempeh in a food processor  (or by hand) until it reaches a crumble.  Set aside and saute onions, garlic and salt until translucent (about five minutes). 

2. Add in tempeh and saute until golden brown (adding more oil if neccesary), about seven-ten minutes.  Roughly tear spinach and stir into tempeh mixture.

3. Prepare sauce by combining the remaining ingredients.  Pour over tempeh and stir until heated through.  Season with salt and lots of pepper.

**Serve on whole grain buns with pickles, or rolled up on pickle slices, or straight up in a bowl sandwiched between pickles.  Don’t forget about the pickles, people!

Hamburger hammocks all the way.

Straight up.

with extra mustard, obviously

Do you want some mustard with that?

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7 thoughts on “hamburger hammocks

  1. yayyy! your very own recipe!! and it was deeeevine. the post was the perfect length and mustard really is much more than a condiment. lerve.

  2. A beautiful recipe by a beautiful girl. Congrats on your first one! I won’t be making it myself (tempeh? no thanks) but would love to try it if you make it for me!

  3. Pingback: “Without me, it is just aweso.” | hummusapien

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